Born and raised in conservative, republican Ohio has definitely been a challenge over the long 21 year journey up the hill of life where I am currently at. Actually, just looking back it's hard to believe that I've been working as a porn star in front of the camera for three years already. But, before I get ahead of myself, let's go back and start from the beginning...

On a warm August morning at 8:11AM on the 7th, back in 1981, Ethan Caleb Masters was born a loud little child in Northwest Ohio.

His childhood was pretty similar of what most children would go through, having 2 older sisters and no brothers, he spent a lot of time by himself other than the occasional time spent of playing matchbox cars or legos with his middle sister. The oldest very rarely would play with young Ethan, for that might require her to get dirty or break a nail which would have been entirely unacceptable.

7th grade year, Ethan is spending the night at a friends house where him and two other friends are going to camp out together in a tent for the night. His two friends were talking about sex and started wrestling for some reason not memorable now, but this was the very first time in his life where he realized that the site of two men in a form of physical contact was stimulating to him. Ethan went all through high school developing this sense of attraction towards men, but always hiding it as to not become a victim of a bloody beating or worse. You see, the high school where Ethan went was very conservative, to the point where in his four years there, a black student moved to the town only to leave a week later because he had been beat up so badly within that one week period. A "fag" would probably not go over well at all.

Gym class was by far the best part of the day for our young and curious boy, because it gave him the opportunity to sneak peaks of boys in their underwear and naked chests. We didn't take showers in gym, so this display of PG-rated porn was the best he got.

Towards the end of his high school career, Ethan was very frustrated and upset at this obsession with men that he slipped into a very self-destructive downward spiral. Life wasn't fair, why was this forced on him, why was he a freak? He thought about suicide at many different times, but could never actually go through with it. Up to this point, no one knew of this inner conflict which was slowly eating away at him.

In an attempt to rid himself of this anguish, he started dating girls very steadily. Not because he was in love or even wanted to be with them, but because it was the best solution at the time to distract himself from what he really wanted. He graduated second in his class in high school and moved onto a private university to further his studies in computer engineering, graphics design, business administration, and film.

The first year of college was a great eye-opener for him. You see, something about Ethan that many of you don't know is that he was a hardcore NERD in high school. We're talking straggly hair, glasses, the whole shot. Not sure what exactly happened over the summer break between graduation and the fall of college year, but he came out of his cocoon and grew into his looks. He went from being the shy, unpopular nerd in high school to one of the most popular guys in his freshman class at college.

He excelled in his classes, taking more than the required full time credits and quickly gaining seniority over his peers. His first quarter in college, he was attempting 22 credit hours all pertaining to his 2 majors and 2 minors. Throughout all of his studying and social time, he found the time to pledge a fraternity and work 2 part time jobs to help pay his way through school. At the end of his freshman year he was first in his class with a 4.0 and 70 credit hours as a freshman.

Extremely pleased with his performance in school, Ethan was at the top of the world, but still very much so alone. He now had a group of brothers to confide in, but still no one that he could tell this dark secret to that lurked inside of him.

The summer after his freshman year of school, he decided to try and meet some guys in his area that he could at least talk to to help figure out why he was feeling the things he was. He found several new friends, which lead him to his first gay bar experience, which at first was the scariest experience in the world, but would later help mold him into the extrovert he is now.

This summer here is the biggest change that Ethan underwent throughout his life in a short period of time. This was the time where he no longer cared what other people though about him, and he was tired of living a life of someone else, instead of the life that he wanted to live. This summer is also when he came out to his family. His mother took him in her arms and told him that no matter what he did in life or who he became, that he would always be her son and she would always love him. Both of Ethan's sisters were accepting and basically quite apathetic. It made no difference to them either way who he was attracted to for the most part. Ethan's father however wanted nothing to do with it. One harsh summer day, Ethan and his dad got into a big fight where his father told him to his face that he was not his son and kicked him out of the house. Later that day, Ethan moved to school to stay in his fraternity house, a month before classes were scheduled to start.

Fall quarter, second year of school... the students are moving in and the social life is once again beginning to get back into the full swing of things. Ethan, very much so enlightened since the year previous, immediately comes out to his fraternity brother which shares his room as being gay. His fraternity brother as well was very apathetic of this news and just said that as long as Ethan didn't attack him, he was cool with it. Throughout the next few weeks, Ethan came out to his entire fraternity and close group of friends, some bad reactions, but mostly good.

Ethan, also around the beginning of this second year, had started stripping at a gay club in Windsor, Canada called the HAPPY TAP. His usual group of clients there kept telling him that he should try and get into porn, mainly because they were very much so interested in watching him in action with another boy and figured that was their best shot. Ethan, extremely modest and not positive of this notion at all, applied to citiboyz online for the reason of saying that he tried nonetheless. To his surprise, he was accepted and actually flew into St. Louis, MO a few weeks later to do his first porn shoot.

Middle of the school year, Ethan was getting burnt out at averaging 24 credit hours and working all the time, however while still holding on to his 4.0 GPA and now with over 100 credit hours under his belt. He decided to leave college mid-year and look more into doing more work in front of the camera with Citiboyz.

He moved to the midwest to work full time as a staff member for the production company for about six months before breaking up with boyfriend, Gage Powers, and moving back to Ohio to be closer to his family once again. He continued doing liaison work for them while gaining more interest in pursuing a company of his own. Early in 2002, He had saved up enough money to start investing into his own company. It has definitely not been an easy journey and has been setback one after another, but he endures and keeps marching on. No matter if he sells 1000 of his videos or 10 of his videos, he will stick with it until his dream becomes a reality.

Now that you know the story behind the man so to speak, there's still a lot more to him besides that timeline that make up who he is and what he believes in. Ethan was raised catholic but has sense expelled all religious beliefs or followings. He is very spiritual and faithful, but does not claim a religion.

Also, despite his career or profession, Ethan is not very sexual in person at all. Making out, holding a guy in his arms and cuddling are what keep him going. Ethan's emotions and actions are expressed through is heart and with love, not through his penis. Despite his small stature and 8" dick, his heart will always be the biggest organ in this little man's body. If a friend needed money and Ethan didn't have any, he would tear about his house looking for change or borrow money from someone else just to help them out. It has come back to bite him in the ass on many different occasions, but Ethan will always put everyone else in front of his own needs or desires.

Another event which has molded his life is him being raped outside of a gay club 3 years ago. The summer where he first started going to clubs, he was hanging out with a new group of friends which were more interested in sex than Ethan was interested in participating. He was severely beaten and raped, which is something that until now only a handful of people had ever known about.

Now, Ethan lives in a small town close to where he grew up, with his two best friends of 8 years. His life is busy, but simple. He is always aware of the possibilities of finding that glistening ray of true love, but until then, he will continue to spend his life working on his company, his dream.

For those of you still hiking up the mountain and in search of the top, in search of the light to help you get through the dark times in your life, just know that you fall in love with a person, a personality, a spirit. We do not fall in love with a guy, or a girl, but who they are inside. Whether that person is twice your age or overweight, they are a person with an extremely beautiful heart. I feel sorry for anyone who can't get past the exterior appearance of someone, because you are only bringing a very lonely and depressing fate to yourself. We can't help who we fall in love with, but you'll never fall in love at all if you can't get past physical attraction.

For those of you out there who have not come out yet, all I have to say is go at your own pace. If you never come out, then as long as you are happy inside, then who the fuck cares. Sorry to get blunt but i am very passionate on this topic. A couple years ago, I would have encouraged everyone to come out, but things change, and people grow. I have spent a large deal of the last couple years figuring out what is important to me, and my happiness and the happiness of those around me is what ranks number one. Being gay, bi or straight is not a classification or a LIFESTYLE, it is only a very small part of all of us that describes the gender of individuals that we find attractive. Quite frankly, people who go out of their way to express that they are gay even to people who don't want to know just bother me. People complain all the time about gays not being treated fairly, yet we have our own kind rubbing their sexuality in people's faces all the time, no wonder they get annoyed with us, I understand how they feel because I get annoyed as well. We are all people, we are all sharing this fucked up planet, who we sleep with behind our bedroom doors is the least of our concerns or problems.

Be happy, be yourself, and live today if it's your last. Nowadays, none of us know if we're going to be around tomorrow, so don't let the bad times get you down too much, because no matter how alone or depressed you feel, you will always be loved and cared for.

This has been very emotional to write, and my only goal out of this was that if one person who reads this feels better about where they are at in life or if just one person learns something from the story that i have lived and told, then all the hurt and all the experiences i have endured throughout my life has been worth it!